First of all, welcome to PC. Secondly, I am so sorry for your loss It sounds like you and your mother had a wonderful relationship. I too lost my mother 4 years ago and am still dealing with my grief also. It has not been easy for me to move on. Although my situation is different from yours one thing that is helping me is grief counseling. Talking about my grief with the right counselor has helped me a lot. It took me a while to find the right person but it has been worth the effort. I hope you will consider trying that. Meantime, please post as often as you need to. We are all here for you.