I am so sorry.

I know that words can't describe the pain you're experiencing.

I'd recommend devoting yourself to something physical that you and your husband did together. Like: if he was into gardening and loved certain plants, you can put a lot of love and focus into getting a special garden going in memory of him. Or if you often went on bike rides or walks together, keep it up in memory of your husband. Make those rides or walks longer and focus on the beauty of nature that you shared together.

Very best wishes and gentle hugs to you.