Agreed, you were there, in your body, anyway. But you weren't in your right mind. I think that's what your family and friends are trying to tell you. They understand that you have a problem, and you weren't thinking things thru all the way.

Now that you are, forgive yourself as they have, and get on with making plans so that you don't make the same mistake twice. That's all you can really do, learn from what happens and try not to let it happen again.