Someone said this to me " the hardest thing about loving me is i dont love myself"and it makes everything hard, i can related some how about feeling unlovable and i am very pessimistic when it comes to relation with other human because i always ended up hurts
i know you are angry and sad right now, but have you ask her why she didnt show up? maybe its not you maybe its her , i remember reading your post that your date has disability ( not sure if this the same person) but if i were her i think the problem might be me , i have disability and iam very insecure about my body and so scared of rejection so she might be have the same problem too thats why she didnt show up , imho maybe you should ask her why she didnt comes maybe her answer will help you to understand

iam sorry that you feeling like this *hugs*