Sorry the depression is getting the best of you. But, if you keep on working at it you can come out of the hole so to speak. And yeah, definitely don't get wrapped up into thinking it's "just in your head". It's more than that.

My advice to you would be to use an outlet of sorts as you try to figure things out. Sticking around these forums might also be a good idea for you in order to try to feel more connected with others. I haven't been on these forums too much but as you can see the people here are very helpful and respectful.

Sometimes just knowing that there are others struggling along with you gives you something to latch on to.