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Jul 06, 2012, 10:05 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,542
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rolan86
I am 20 and a virgin. I have been craving sex since I was 10. I have been nonstop thinking about it all these years. I just feel I need it. As I have progressed in life, I have just become more and more sexually frustrated, and am frankly just sick of masturbating. I masturbate about three times a day, and it only leaves me feeling empty and hollow each and every time. I've been through two years of college now and still nothing. The thought that I might never have sex scares me and just makes me feel gloomy. The urges that plague me are so intense, and I find myself touching my penis just out of impulse. The bad part is, I have no way of satisfying these overwhelming urges and desires. I have never had a girlfriend, and don't see that happening any time soon. I really want a meaningful relationship, but I also want sex. I just don't know how much longer I can handle these unsatisfied urges before I snap.
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I’m almost in the same boat as you verbatim: I’m 19 ½, second year in college, never had a real meaningful relationship, been thinking about sex since elementary, masturbate at least once a day out of sheer boredom, and I’ve been watching porn since I was 16. The only difference is that the urges aren’t nearly as strong, but they are always there. I’m always fantasizing about sex, and I’ve noticed that with porn that over the years I have been going further hardcore as to what I watch and fantasize about, but I don’t think it has or will ruin sex for me.
I’ve really thought about why I cannot find a partner and it’s because I want it to be meaningful. I have met an extraordinarily beautiful woman that I had the hots for and she got drunk and wanted to have sex with me and I said no. I wanted my first time to be sober and true feelings of love. What I want from sex is love. I don’t want sex just to have sex. I want lots of it, but I want it to be with someone I am in love with. I am someone who constantly craves physical touch, and I am always touching myself and other people and still sleep with stuffed animals because I need the physical contact.
Ask yourself what do you want out of sex? I think about having wild and crazy sex and wonder how much I can do IRL compared to porn (I know it’s not the same), but really, it’s because I want to be so madly in love that I want to explore that person and make that person happy. So for me, I want sex to mean love and I am waiting until I am in love before having sex. I know it’s so frustrating to not be able to find that one person, but trust me, the wait is worth it and I wouldn’t want to waste my first time on someone who is drunk (or me being drunk and not remembering what it was like!)
As for the other people wondering what is wrong with you for having such a high sex drive…NOTHING! Not everyone who is on medications has low sex drives, but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you because you have a normal sex drive. Guys tend to have higher sex drives than women, but I think there is something more going on with you than just wanting to get it over with. I think you are waiting for a reason, and that is a very good, normal thing.
And for pleasuring yourself? Experiment! I've used toys and there are alot of toys out there for men too. I know they have toys designed to have the same feel as the inside of a vagina or mouth and dildos work on guys too and personally I think that feels best, but idk how guys secretly feel about that type of submission. When I get bored with myself I just take myself to the next level...although I do come down from that and feel even lonelier...but at least we are not alone. Best of luck.
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