It sounds like the "roles parents are supposed to play in our lives" is based on traditional gender stereotypes- that the mother has the closer relationship at first (not, for example, that baby has two Daddies and one of them is the most intense relationship, or, for example, that Mommie is the breadwinner and Daddy stays home and bottle feeds and is the most intense relationship). However, if you're interested in learning how your experiences developing your sexual orientation may have been related to how your childhood experience differed from the norm, it's probably interesting to learn about traditional, stereotypical gender roles. I hope this doesn't lead to a feeling that traditional, rigid gender roles are better, even though life may seem easier for people who conform naturally without thinking about it.

But it sounds like you were probably talking about more than renegociating your sexual orientation as you renegociate the separation with your t. I guess that having a mother like a broken doll must cause more difficulties than just anxiety about sexual orientation.