I'm wondering why a man who supposedly loves you would lie to you to get you to spend 3 hours on a train alone traveling to a place which you have told him repeatedly that you feel unsafe and uncomfortable being in? Why couldn't he visit you in a place that you felt safe? It seems that he might want you to be one of the 'tough girls' he probably hangs out with in his neighborhood. That might be why he'd tell you to grow up. That's a manipulation tactic to get you to do what he wants. He should not give you any trouble at all if you are simply following your instincts about your personal safety. Ask yourself why he has no regard for your well being. From the way you described it, you felt like you could only stay 3 days because otherwise your life would be in danger. What a way to live! This isn't a movie as Rose described. You could actually be murdered or raped. How did you get to his house? Walk from the train? Catch a cab? He lives there, and his surroundings have become common to him. You are the outsider. People in his neighborhood have nothing better to do, but watch for outsiders like you. If someone would want to get back at him for some reason, they could come after you. You don't play with fire, and expect not to get burned. You are like an innocent lamb wandering into the wolf's den.
Please don't lie to yourself anymore. I really don't think he loves you the way that you'd hoped. Anyone who could follow through with what you have to do to become a member of a gang is a BAD person. I don't understand why people say things like, "Deep down he is a good person," or "He has a good heart." Who doesn't have a good heart? Who isn't a good person, then? I think the total accumulation of your actions are what what makes you a good or a bad person. If you mostly do bad things, you're bad. Good things, then you're goodhearted. Of course, someone could change from being bad to being good, but how likely is that with this guy? He won't change for you if he can't even make your safety a priority. In other words, you are making excuses for him. Btw, he is lying to you when he tells you that you are safe with him. He is not immortal, but he thinks he is. Leading that type of life, you are NEVER safe.
I still can feel your sadness though. I wonder if you are starving for love like many of us are. Even if you did pursue this relationship, you'd end up right back where you started with a much heavier heart. I can almost guarantee it. Run and never look back. This is not lost love because it's not real love. True love is when someone thinks of your happiness and well being before they think of theirs.