No I haven't said it to my current T and I very much doubt she would say it to me. To be honest I don't want her to. I think it would feel too much for me at this time of my life. I also think that it's easy to become too reliant on words and their meanings. I think what it is more important is the quality of the relationship, whether that is seen as 'love' or not.

Many years ago I did say it to my first T but written down in a card. Some time later my T said something very lovely that clearly was 'I love you' but in a very different, unique way. However, I already knew I was loved and cared about. It was very obvious. It was nice to hear it for sure, but I already knew in my heart.

Former T never, ever said it. She was not that way inclined at all. But I had absolutely no doubt that she cared even though our relationship got to a stage where it was no longer theraputically helpful.

And as I said, current T would almost certainly never say it. I would be shocked if she did. But that's okay with me. I want to feel a connection that is based on that - feelings - not on interpretations of words, as they can be easily confused and misunderstood. Not only that, the word 'love' means so many different things to different people. Its connotations are huge. I think that is why many therapists choose not to even go there.