The first paragraph I quoted here seems to reflect something that is throughout your posting, which is that you have assigned knowledge to him, you're reading his mind and assuming its the truth. He *knows* . . . are you really sure that is true? Is there any part of your reaction that might be about how you are interpreting his words and actions? Have you spoken directly to him about any of these things that you feel about him, the relationship, especially the back-and-forth?

This doesn't come up for me in therapy much with my T, but I talk about this kind of conflict all the time as it relates to my wife. I am always wondering, is this *mine* or is this *hers*? It can actually be both as well. Part of the answer for me sometimes lies in trying to remember whether I've had this feeling before, like being ignored, and then I realize that yep, this is a familiar feeling to me. My T is also really good about pointing out that it's not necessarily either-or, that it can be both her behavior that I'm reacting to AND I can have an overreaction to that. But it's impossible to resolve it unless I communicate how I'm feeling to her (wife), because it is in her reaction that I really understand what she was trying to say and trying to do.

Just like you can't read your T's mind, he can't read yours. If you need him to shut up and allow you to talk, you need to actually say something. I usually tell my T I need her to talk MORE, and she is willing to do so, but she also tells me to remind her anytime I need it. I think T's can easily slip into a certain way of interacting . . . and there is a wide range of what's normal in terms of listening/speaking. But we need to let them know what is and is not working for us.

You don't say that you've talked to your T about these things and maybe he's still doing them. Maybe that's what you rant is about, I don't know. But if you haven't communicated how you feel--- you could just hand him your post and say you want to talk about it. It's always your choice to just bail and get a new T, or leave therapy altogether, but IME you will find this pattern following you like a friendly puppy no matter who your T is. If you want to improve your general interpersonal skills, this is the kind of interaction that may be helpful to making that happen-- learning to ask for what you need and resolve misunderstandings are critical to just about any relationship.