when i was struggling to get sober but in denial at the same time i used all kinds of means that would allow me to drink successfully. i did not want to admit defeat. i wasn't content with being labled an alcoholic. in my heart tho I KNEW that was what i WAS. so periodically i threw "temper tantrums". my results will be revealed.
my justifications": i just wanted to be "normal". afterall my friends could drink so why shouldn't i? why did i have to be punished for my drinking? and so i would drink again. had i been a friend i would've asked them, "what part of this do you not understand?"
some ways i did "controlled" drinking (by the way i thought i had "invented" this concept):
1. only drink from thursday till sunday. this got moved up to wednesday, then tuesday and then what the hell i'll just drink like i want to. that was every day.
2. not drink while doing a household chore. i would do the chore then 'reward" myself with a drink.
3. only allow myself to have 2 drinks per hour! i counted the minutes.
4. minimized the quantity of how much i drank.
5. eating out did not count towards how much i drank. it was a freebie.
6. purchase only a pint and that was my limit per day so i better stretch it out.
7. drinking beer instead of scotch my drink of choice. (BTW i hated beer)...ad nauseum.
8. and lastly, going to only 2 different liquor stores (every other day/rotating to get the pint. god forbid the clerk would think i was an alcoholic!! i mean "i didn't go there every day.") so each day i had to purchase a pint thinking this would embarress me enough at the liquor store to make me stop drinking!
my tally card: absolutely no success in using these methods. it was too much like a job! throw in the towel and just drink like i wanted to i'd say...from when i got up til when i went to bed (aptly called "passing out").
would anyone else care to share their  "successful" drinking story? Give examples of
how you tried to limit or control the amount of alcohol or drugs you used by limiting the time for drinking/drugging (for instance, decided not to drink before a certain hour in the day) ETC.
And what were your results?
(sorry for the long post)
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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