That's what my boyfriend always says. I'm trying an herb known for helping those with depression. RX meds would be my very very very last resort. I thought it was helping within the first week as I was feeling good. Then, yesterday, we went to the beach, and I had a good day. It filled me with joy because we unknowingly stumbled into a dog beach. To see those little guys in total bliss made me want to cry in happiness.
Later that night though, I realized that he only took me somewhere so he could try to get sex later, as well as play his video game. Well, he didn't get me, but he did play his game. He became violent, and punched my wall because he was losing or something, so I left to take a walk. I came home, and he asked me, "What's your problem? Why are you mad, just because I was playing? I can't do anything........." Then, he starts telling me that I'm always sad, and no one wants to be around a sad person. He tells me that I'm a big whiny baby. I remind him of how angry and sad he was when his dumb wife cheated on him. He thinks it's totally different, and that his feelings should be validated, but not mine. He says I have nothing to be sad about. Well, hey, I'm still sad though, what do you want me to do? I'm a total failure. I'm working part time at a dead end job. Now, I rely on him for half the rent money because my hours were cut. I'm 30, and have tried to go to college multiple times throughout the last 12 years, and have failed at that. I feel like I have no talent or skill or ambition or whatever to ever earn a decent living. I will always be poor and bored. I can't make new friends since my old friend abandoned me 7 years ago. I have 2 people in my family as they all have died from drugs and alcoholic abuse. I'm not lovable. I can't even find a man who will love me! I feel like I will never be able to accomplish a single thing in my life. I feel useless, and like I'm a waste of a human being. I took some vacation time this weekend to pull up cat urine soaked carpet from my mom's house which she only rents. What a vacation! Sure, then I went to the beach yesterday, but I guess that was only a ploy to get me in bed, and if not that to at least let him play his precious game. Suppose I'll give the herb more time, and hopefully my mood will improve so I can try to once again make some changes in my life. I wonder if there is a point though. I always fail, and have to start over.