I re read that comment and realized how it sounded. I meant that he did things I would not expect from a 45 year old man with a son, a responsible adult. There was nothing in my experience or understanding to rationalize what he was doing so I treated him accordingly, which could be harsh as I didn't understand his inconsistencies. It would be one thing if he was all bad, but he wasn't. So I did'nt know how to handle these inconsistencies and acted in ways I'm not totally proud of.

"equal" is the wrong word. But if I'd know he was bipolar there might have been an explanation for some of the inconsistencies I'd seen and I might have had a more measured reaction. I can see how I exacerbated things and helped them to escalate, because I was hurt. I might have been less hurt (but I don't know).

Anyway, I'm very curious to hear about opinions on the medical stuff too. I talked to my dad who was also picking up on the energy thing.

I also asked him if he was just abusing the ambien. Of course you can imagine the response I got.