There is a lot I could respond to in here, but you said you were looking for support so I won't dissect everything.

I'll just say that I am recently diagnosed with bipolar. I have been off meds since last August and I started a relationship 3 months after leaving my wife who I am still in the process of divorce with. This new relationship was/is the best thing that ever happened to me. We are compatible in every single area you can think off.

In the period I went off meds until I was diagnosed, I didn't know what I was. That meant about 7 months with this new woman where I didn't know what I was. She was the one who suggested to me that I was bipolar and that I get it looked into. I told others she thought that about me and they though that was nonsense. That's because I hid my bipolar and hid it well. No one saw it except this woman I loved.

Over the course of our time together (and we are still together, now that I am getting help and will likely be on meds as of next week) I went from manic to depressed a few times and when I was depressed I went out of my way to sabotage the relationship. I would be mean, ditch her, not call her back, fly off the handle at innocent things she asked, stuff like that. When I was manic or okay I had the capacity to make her feel more love then she even knew was in this world.

I am currently in therapy, as I said, and that's helped a ton. I think both meds and therapy (and the therapy can be once a month, once a year, whatever that person needs) is a need for most (please note that I know some are fine with different methods).

Now, your bf. Based on your side of things here is what I think.... He was talking about marriage? I did that too, very quickly. He has things there? He KNEW he was bipolar? That's the part that gets me. At some point, I really, truly believe it's the a BP's person duty to inform their partner they are bipolar before or while marriage/moving in is being talked about. I honestly think it's a total jerk move to lead you on and never tell you.

On top of that? He likes energy drinks and weed? Two things that mix horribly with BP and meds. The excessive caffeine can and probably will have a negative impact on his mood. Weed and alcohol (excessive) negate meds. I want to think that people who know they are BP and are not alcoholics/addicts would not be drinking or doing drugs because they would have been told countless times by med professionals how damaging the stuff is to any mind, especially a BP mind.

In there you kind of blamed yourself for things that you said, etc. I can't see how it's your fault. You were dealing with a drug user, bipolar mess who didn't even respect you enough to tell you he was BP so you knew what you were dealing with, EVEN THOUGH he thought it was cool to talk about marriage. For all you knew he was just an a**hole who was being mean to you for fun, why wouldn't you react the same way to him?

If you love him and want to make it work, I'd ask him to take his BP seriously and not expect you to guess at things.

That's just my own personal opinion, I may seem harsh on a BP person... even though I am a BP person. I just STRONGLY believe that if someone is BP they need to be open about it to their loved one, otherwise they can expect a ton of relationship struggles and they can expect to never get the respect and understanding they need from their partner. But that is what is deserved in the case of dishonesty.

I am interested in your first point. Being BP, I know I have been a straight up a**hole to the woman I love and when she didn't know I was BP (nor did I) she thought that all I was doing was.... being a straight up a**hole. Can you really blame someone for responding to someone they think is doing nothing more than being mean the same way?

I guess the other person should always turn the other cheek, but that is easier said than done.

You're second point is spot on. Kinda what I wanted to say except you said it much more succinctly.