I think it is your way of shielding yourself for what is to come. hang in there and like someone else said go spend time with him while you can. I lost my dad last year and yes it is very difficult to go thru but in the end you will be glad you spent the time with him. he needs you right now. my brothers didn't see dad much and he would tell me many times he didn't think they loved him. to me that was very hard to deal with. go see him hon.