Quote:
Originally Posted by rgb11
1. If it is not the place to go, show me the door. I read the terms and conditions. It was moderated. We need support too (friends and family) and it is highly lacking. Since I do not have a condition, I don't have prozac, abilify and ambien and a cadre of human support (like he does) to get me through the breakup. I have myself and raw feelings. And typically, talking to others is a healthy way to get support which is what I'm trying to do. In my research -- I've found a lot of people posting on boards with similiar issues. In my haste last night to finally post I just picked one that seemed to have a high rating with knowledagble people.
2. If I should treat him the same as anyone then I would assume bipolar people here would also want to know and be able to handle what happened to me in a bipolar relationship and how it affected me. I've read in a lot of my research that the bipolar person in the relationship is most often unwaware of the strife they put their loved ones through (to the extent that they do) and I'd assume hearing the side of the story (and that being "normal" doesn't make one bullet proof) might help shed light on the 90% divorce rate (if it's even true). If bipolar is just a set of symptoms and personality preferences and coping is different -- that is mostly what I came here to learn. I don't know what people here know, all I know is what I went through and the things that I've read. I've never been in therapy for bipolar nor did I know much about how serious it is.
I realize the term 'as an equal' was offensive. I think when taken with the body of everything else I wrote, it probably makes sense and is obviously not meant to be patronising.
I'm glad to hear I should treat him the same as anyone else. That is validating to me because I did. What I really meant, is I'd have had a chance to take things less personally and use tools to keep conflict from escalating. Protect myself more, have fewer late days to work feeling horrible about myself.
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To the bolded part, really? That's just anger coming out. I don't know what your boyfriend did but, please don't judge everyone with bipolar based on his behaviors. That's what I mean, you're in need of support but, your raw feelings and ignorance conflicts a little bit with a supportive environment for people who actually have the disorder doing the support thing for the experience of it. Especially considering, because I know I've deal with it, self stigma. If you want to learn, ask questions but, the snippy remarks because your angry with your ex? That shouldn't be acceptable.
To comment on your insight comments, during an episode bipolar can ruin perceptions. Consequences may not be considered or even understood.
I'm in a relationship for something like 8 years now with my husband who also has bipolar disorder. I know what it is like to be on the other side of the mood swing but, you know, mood swings are normal to me. The temper, off and on relationship and out of control arguments are not normal to me even during episodes. We've made it a habit to step back, think and be rational about things when they matter. Pick battles. If it isn't that big of a deal, let it slide.
But really, this guy didn't have enough respect to even tell you he had bipolar disorder and a 7 month on and off relationship? Put it in perspective. This isn't your life.