Thank you. Yes I understand cocobeans as well. There was nothing but desperation in my attempt last night to start to help myself through this. I'd seen many posts on bipolar support sites for people like me and last night just did a search and this place came up, I didn't really think about the audience and figured this is common. But I don't feel hurt if they need to move my thread and I don't mean to be ignorant and mean ...and I don't feel angry. I really mean it. I feel he at least has some support and I don't have access to drugs when honestly I could use some too right now!

But, it's not something I want to focus on -- no argument here. if they want to move the thread fine with me. I can see how it's maybe not appropriate.

That said thanks for the insight from all of you. I need it. Robert, this validates me a bit. Maybe I did the best thing for him....including letting him know how much I just hate him right now and I told him he's not right for anyone unless he gets it together. said some other things that were harsh but nothing that wasn't true. I also made clear that I was disgusted and I knew he'd friended his ex girlfriend on facebook. This wouldn't be significant if I didn't already know he never loved her and she was cheating on her husband with him (why he dumped her) she posts pictures of her body all the time on facebook and seems to have had a crush on him since college. I feel he ran to her after this to keep feeling good about himself and continue with self destructive behaviors.

So maybe my angry words were the best medecine for him ...and me. It sounds like maybe he should know he is being irresponsible about his illness. His brother has it too and medicated with weed.

His mom seems to bail them out all their life. I'm not saying he's a bad person but I'm coming to terms with how much he should alraedy know and be responsible for his actions. I think he was still blaming his divorce on his wife. I don't know, I get different stories. At times he's humble and admitting he's failed at relationships, other times referring to me or her as a nag etc. etc.

I think this is what I needed to start to understand and validate. My best friend is a councelor and she told me I should not feel guilty for ending this and for even ending it badly with hateful words. I don't know where the illness ends and he begins.

From the sound of it, he's a selfish immature jerk...which is exactly what I told him. This after many attempts to relate, plead with him not to leave, etc.