Hi so I'm... Everything I'm abou to say is the worst of me and I'm ashamed..

Today I woke up with a memory... I had forgotten about it for so long. I'm 17 and when I was 6 years old my 9 year old sister touched me in Inappropriately once that I can remember... I didn't know it was wrong and neither did she. To this day I love her very much and never really thought about this. However I realized that one thing left me uncomfortable ... That's the only word I can se to describe it.

I also rememered todaythat when i was 10 i use to get angry and dig my nails into my arm. After that i got curious about sex and watched porn in middle school. I felt so guilty about watching such disgusting videos that I started scratching myself regularly on the arm. Then at 15 I started to develope an eating disorder which I fortunately got out of within a year and didn't lose too much weight. The scratching continued and became cutting. The last time I cut was about four days ago and I've been trying to quit with the help of a shool counselor and friends. My family doesn't know any of this.....

My question is.... Was I molested? Does any of this go together? I find myself very sad at all this because believe it or not... I'm the happy girl at school. I sing and perform and smile and I really do love life.... Does what happened with my sister (who didn't know any better and who I love) have to do with all the self destruction?