Good Morning Mr. Expectations,

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I know you are a busy man, with all that mult-tasking and pro-active busy work you must do. I feel it only fair to make you aware that you should not count on me to be instrumental in obtaining perfection. You see, I have fallen below average and I can't get up. I realize there is no such word as "can't" in your vocabulary but really I don't know how else to say it. Believe me when I say that you disappointment in me far exceeds my own. I know that a man of your stature will have no difficulty in finding a suitable replacement. So, please accept my humble apology for my shortcomings and I wish you continued success with your next victim, excuse me, I mean poor slob, so sorry, I meant to say candidate.