(((athena))) (((open))) (((suzzie))) welcome zzzcat!

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Sadly I see myself in 'win lose' relationships and because I'm passive that pretty much puts me in the 'lose' position to a point (i'm getting better as 'walking away'). My mother, brother have always put me in the lose position. I have always been the 'loser' never the winner. I was the emotional whipping post when it wasn't physical.

Today I limit my interactions with my family but they still posture the 'win lose' relationship. I just ignore it for the most part.

I have noticed as of most recent a 'close' friend that I have. This is a 'win lose' friendship in some ways and yet can be supportive in other ways. I look up to her for her strength and conviction and I have a hard time not 'going with the flow when I disagree'. I feel like she's a bit of a bully at times trying to get me to do things I really don't want to do. I tell her I'm not interested in something and she pushes further to try and make her point. She says I'm her best friend. I've always wanted a sister or a woman that I've felt close to. Perhaps people see that in me and take advantage of a 'loser'. I find this eye opening and very sad at the same time. I've noticed that I seem to be attracted to people like this even though it hurts me.

Sadly my husband is at times very win/lose. He has no flexibility sometimes. It took me three years to get him into marriage therapy because for three years he knew we didn't need to go to marriage therapy.

Suzzie I found a link that I think helps describe Complex-PTSD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex...tress_disorder

What does a healthy friendship/relationship look like when it's not win/lose???? Sorry for the long post and thank you all so much for posting.