No, you were not molested; that happens between an adult and a child; children explore sexuality and their bodies, etc. as they are growing, I remember playing "Doctor" with the boy across the street when we were 3 and 4 and I saw him naked (he was into peeing on everything; I still remember when his mother came in and caught him peeing on his parents bedpost). We don't just emerge full-grown at age 21 and are suddenly "adults", we have to learn and grow and experience lots of things, some good, some bad/yucky/harmful.

To me, it sounds like you were an anxious middle school teen and were watching porn to distract or help you cope with your anxiety. It's very normal for teens and young adults to masturbate too, to help diffuse the anxious feelings, sex is a powerful energy/relaxer, has qualities similar to cutting. I would work on your self esteem and anxiety issues, try to see that symptoms (watching porn, cutting) are not the actual problem. You would not get upset at yourself for having a headache would you? No, because you know there's a cause of it, it is just there to let you know you have a problem. You are doing the best you can to cope with your problems, your anxiety. The coping methods are not idea and maybe talking to your parents/family will help you as what you are anxious about might all be "out there" with no need to be anxious about it anymore so some of your symptoms won't be needed either.

I don't know if you should tell your family or not or what you should tell them if you do; I would continue to work with your school counselor, figure out what you are comfortable with, what you think might help you as you work with your problems.