Which is cutting us off

It sounds like you want particular people to act in particular ways for/toward you. We cannot get other people to act like we'd like them to, we can only manage our own behavior.

I enjoyed reading Jaybird's experiences, being available to certain people with the hope or expectation they will be available for me in return does not seem to work very often.

Have you ever tried the opposite; come, like on here, and state your problems, "talk" to others and get their interest in you (like this thread :-) and then, help those people out when they ask?

It sounds like with your way you might be trying to "buy" attention. We don't need to do that! You are worth listening to, worth getting to know, there are those who would love to get to know you and identifying friends by telling them about yourself and your problems is much easier than doing things for "unknown" others and then finding they won't help you when you'd like. Make the friend with "yourself", first, and then you can help them out if they ask. You do not have to pay for friendship. Don't prostitute yourself that way.