((((AbandonmentIssues)))),

It looks like many of the posters here are just seeing your husband as selfish and irresponsible and that he is just plain "bad" news and you need to file and detach.

I do agree that the two of you were very young when you made this decision about beginning a family. And there is huge hormanal urge to "have children" in most people at the age when they are most sexually driven and healthy. We are simply designed to do that, it is our original "design" as human beings, "to reproduce".
All one has to do is spend time really observing nature and the main drive in all of nature is "to reproduce" and that includes human beings as well.

One the facts that so many do not recognize is that if we are "attracted" to the opposite sex, we are often attracted to a lot more than just "the person". There are so many chemicals involved in this attraction that take over our senses that we are unaware of. We joke around and say "Love is blind" and what we don't realize is how true those three words really are.

What I truely feel that you are experiencing here is that your husband "did" love you.
He loved you in a very chemical way and there were also personal aspects about you that he loved as well. But the strongest part was the chemical love that we are designed to have "by nature".

What is taking place now though is that your husband has some very real fears about this very big commitment that is about to take place. And this fear is very common in "many men" and the closer it comes to the birth of a child, the more they become afraid and uncertain about what this means. And many men, especially young men, experience a lot of anxiety with this experience. They often don't understand it, only that it makes them confused and "afraid" and often their urge to "run" escalates as the reality "birth" approaches.

It is not so much all about "selfishness" on his part. In my opinion, he is very afraid and he just is detaching and distancing out of the fear. And it is probably not something he, himself can truely put into words either. This is not about him suddenly hating you, or suddenly not loving you either. This is all about him running scared, something he didn't even see coming, and many men don't see this coming.

What you need to do is focus on the birth of this child. I don't think you should take any action towards a divorce or final decision to detach from your husband. Give him space and time right now and don't pressure him for answers that he cant really give you right now.

This is not about you doing anything wrong either, so don't blame yourself and keep asking if this is because you are not pretty enough or any of the other things you pointed out that you could not manage to do.

What has to take place right now is the healthy birth of this child and you need to focus on trying to remain calm and put all your focus on what is best for this new life coming into the world. Make sure you "eat right" and play some calming music and be around people that love you where you can be "happy" about this precious event that is coming. This little life that is depending on "your love" is all that is important right now.

Once this happens and your husband eventually sees this new little person, he will have to adjust to "the reality" of what this really means. It is going to take him time to realize that his running away was never going to change the fact that he "is" now a father. And as time goes by, he will have to learn how to accept the fact that he IS a father and it will change that fear he had before into realizing that it is not such a scary thing after all.

Men do not have that "maternal instinct" built in like women do. Men do not know how to fit into what "having a child" really means. It is VERY normal for men to "fear" this experience.

So give this time, focus on you and the baby that is coming into your life and don't worry about anything else beyond that.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes