Hi there..

been sober 7 years now. This last year I've really started not liking going to meetings. I"ve switched it up and tried different ones but for some reason I just don't like going anymore. I know I'm still an addict. It's just that I can't get back on track and starting going to meetings with regularity again.

I've been stressed over the past year.. relationship and job issues.. and find that I'm not comfortable talking about this at meetings. There's always someone who has to make comment on what I said and try to offer their 2 cents. Like when I talk about the **** my boyfriend and I are going through and people will actually say stuff like "I would leave him if things don't start to change" I absolutely hate that It makes me want to stay silent in the meeting or not go at all. Which is where I"m at now. For a long time I tried to brush off peoples comments in meetings and try to focus on the positive message, but I lost patience and decided to stop going for awhile.

Problem is.. I"m still an addict and have urges and impulses that have increased in the past 6 months. I try to keep my mind and body healthy with excercise and diet and see a therapist. I came really close to using a few weeks ago.. and fortunately by the grace of god did not act on the urge. I was able to play the tape all the through and realize using will only make my problems worse and **** with my emotions.

I came to PC to get support for emotional issues and am glad they also have a forum dealing with addictions. It's a way for me to at least read about others who struggle and get courage, strenth and hope to stay sober.

tks