I can relate to what you are saying. Somedays I just have no hope for the human race. I want nothing to do with people. They just frustrate and aggravate me with their ignorance and selfishness.

I also think there are layers to the equation. More personal layers. At least for me I think I am mostly disappointed. I can't find a decent one among the bunch to be my hero. I think I want to be rescued and when I look at the pool of talent I am scared and hurt and worried there is no one out there who can be my friend and who I can trust. I spent so much of my life taking care of others, being there for people, being the rock that when I need care and support there is no one stepping up. Its personal. Its painful and its lonely.

Another layer to the disappointment is finding out that while I felt lowly in my life what I was holding up as better than me didn't really exist.

All of that aside, truth be told, it boils down to which lenses are my eyes seeing through today as I consider the quality of the human race. When I am depressed these negative assessments seem totally accurate because there is no one here for me when things are bad. People only come when they want something from me. That's how depression frames this reality for me.

When I am manic these assessments seem accurate because they empower me to get out there and save the world. Lead people into their full potention. To usher the world towards utopia or some such foolishness.

Inevitable the truth falls somewhere in the middle and I have to put on my big girl panties and acknowledge that there are no super heros and we, as members of the human race are all flawed and imperfect and we are all journeying through life as best we can. Some do it better than others.

By and large we are all messed up. Some just function messed up better than others. Depressed ---- feeling lonely and with no where to turn and nothing to aspire towards. Manic ---- feeling energized to save the world. Stable ---- feeling accepting and an equal partner with the rest of the human race. A partner in the giving and receiving of basic human interaction and interdependancy.