(((Wolfin 3)))),

I am sorry, I just saw your thread now. You are very important and I don't want you to think no one is interested in answering your plea for help/support.

Well, your children are 10 and 7 and are at the age where they are just curious to why mommy and daddy are not together. They are also at the age where they "pick up on" the attitudes and body language that you and your husband have with each other.
It sounds to me like your son is experiencing your husbands need for control himself and he is thinking that it may be why mommy didn't want to be with daddy.

I am wondering if your son is the one that is 10 now? If that is true, well that is the age where children start wanting independance and that "bossy closeminded parent" is a challenge.

I have a feeling by what you are saying here, that you are probably much more loving and supportive with your children, and that is a good thing Wolfin. And they are at the age now where they DO need that from you.

I really think that your idea of explaining how you experienced Post Pardom depression and that you did not understand it yourself is fine. All you do know is that it took you time to realize it and find your way to understanding and working through it. Children just need the basics and to feel you are "honest" with them. There is nothing wrong with being honest, and making sure they also know that you are sorry and that you DO love them are there for them now.

The children mostly just want to understand what went wrong. They know that we grow up, find someone to love, get married and have a family. They do not understand why it doesn't always work out and what they should learn so they can prevent a break up someday too. So in their mind, they have not seen a working relationship and so they don't know how one works.

And the other thing children almost always wonder is if the parents didn't love them enough to stay a family or if it was their fault somehow too. They just have questions thats all, it is very normal for kids to have these questions.

Wofin, you can't go back and change your past. All you can do now is learn why it happened and take whatever you learn and move forward with your life. And don't beat yourself up, for some reason you were lost and confused.

Are you working with a T?

Open Eyes