I understand the point you are making, and sympathize with the situation you had to go through with your ex-fiance. However, I cannot read your post without feeling obligated to comment on some of the language you used. I must tell you that I find it offensive and irresponsible that you refer to an emergency women's shelter as "running home to mommy" and that you characterize those feel were working against you as "ultra-feminists" and "men-haters."

Many of the women on this board have actually BEEN abused. That is one of the primary topics that is dealt with on this side, and in this forum in particular. To say that an abused woman gets up the courage to leave her abuser and go to an emergency women's shelter is "running home to mommy" is offensive, arrogant, and ignorant. To send the message that a woman who seeks help to escape from abuse is "running home to mommy" could do a lot of damage. It is also easy for someone who has never been in that situation (and is in a position of privilege) to make an off-the-cuff remark like that and fail to realize the ramifications of doing so.

Furthermore, insulting feminists and likening them to "man-haters" is a clear sign of ignorance. As a Professor of Cultural and Gender Studies, I can clarify that feminism, by definition, is the seeking of equal rights, responsibilities, and social status for men and women. Despite the negative media stereotypes, feminism is not about hating men, burning bras, or anything of the sort. It is actually a very serious movement which seeks equality for all genders. And most of the men I know are also feminists. If there are any so-called "feminists" out there who "hate men" then they fail to recognize what the term "feminist" actually represents. I think it's easy for us to look back, see how much progress has been made (women's right to vote, birth control, work outside the home, etc) and think that feminism is no longer necessary. That is very far from too. There is still steep inequality in terms of equal pay, equal job opportunities, equal status within relationships, equal social status, equal expectations from birth, etc.

I apologize if I am hijacking the thread; not my intention! I simply felt a moral and professional obligation to respond.