Hey. Definately look for a good T. I was raped 20 odd years ago and did nothing about it and told no one. You can only hide things from yourself for so long. Thoughts would pop up here and there not huge deal. But my hubby and I are having issues. While we are going broke in Therepy I asked him if there was anything he would like to see me work on. If we are having a problem I certainly want to fix my end of things. My inability to be romantic out of the bedroom. I'm not a person who likes physical contact even in a nonsexual way. So as it turns out rape just might have something to do with this. I just hid it for so long I thought it could stay that way. It didn't. My story is similar to yours. I had a boyfriend for 9 months who continually made me do things I didn't want to do and I stayed. Not fully realizing this was rape. I guess I thought if things worked out between us and I could connect enough love to it then it was not rape. I was wrong. Definiate get help sooner rather then later.