On July 5, 2012 I had to make the most difficult decision I have ever made. My beloved toy poodle of 11 years and 2 months became so ill, that I he had to be put to sleep. Everyone tells me he is better off, that he is no longer suffering, but I just can't stop crying about him. Max had seizures his whole life, well since he was 9 months. So everyday twice a day he got his "medis". He knew when it was time and he would let you know at 6 am and 6 pm that he wanted them too. The last year of his life has really been hard, as the seizures continued, he became blind. Over the last couple of months he really began to put on alot of weight, but it was thought to be due to his inactivity. On July 3rd, he seemed to be having some difficulty breathing, so I started carrying him when he needed to go outside and I moved his food and water bowls close to make it easier on him. On July 4th, he seemed to be feeling a little better and was even able to maneuver the stairs off the porch. During the day of July 5th, Max seemed to be having more trouble getting around, was panting alot and didn't have very much of an appetite. Around 4pm his breathing got worse, but just like the loyal friend he had always been, when I call him he would come to me, but it took so much out of him. He couldn't get comfortable lying down, so he just stood. Finally, around 4:45pm I asked my husband to take him to the vet, I could no longer stand to see my friend suffer, but I also knew that I could not stand there and watch his little life come to an end. I called my husband while he was on the way to the vet and told him if there was anything at all that could be done, to bring Max home and I would take care of him. The vet said that Max's heart was not beating properly and that he was retaining a lot of fluid. He was in heart failure which explained his difficulty breathing and that we would only be prolonging the inevitable. Well, it's been 3 days now and I can't stop thinking about him and wondering if I made the right decision. I miss him so badly. I just want to tell him I love him one more time. I hope he knows that I loved him so much and that's why I let him go.