I am sorry to say this, but i guess i dont have any remedy to tell someone what is happening to me because i cant take anymore of it. i am at the point i am hating my mother. She is so abusing, all the time she treated me like crap, since i was a child, she always told me that i was a god punishment, that she was taking pills and she got pregnant of me and i didnt died. Why the hell she didnt killed me? i am fat, i am trash, i am not good enough, no matter how much effort i do, it is never enough. I try to be always tolerant and please her, but if i am not a robot, if i am in the wrong place, if she is in the wrong mood, then i am the worst person ever.
I have a insulin problem, but i dont care at all, today she said to me, just because i didnt washed a stupid burned pan, that i am the same as my brother, i asked her to stop, but she started being worse and worse. My brother is the jerk who insult and scream to her like if she is just crap.
i feel so bad, and the worst is that i cannot leave this place, i am so trapped, so frustrated... i feel like smoking again, who cares about breathing... i dont care about my insulin, i cant feel the flavor of sugar anymore, it is becoming like a drug.
And you know what? i tried to get some help, but no one was available, funny thing to say.