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Jul 09, 2012, 05:11 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Oh Bless your heart -- you had a VERY rough time growing up. And I can TELL that you still harbor some resentments due to your past. And that is TOTALLY understandable!
But here is the kicker. "There is a saying that I use alot: Resentment is the poison I take to kill you." By harboring resentments, we just eat ourselves alive, because the people we resent don't even know it! All we're doing is hurting ourselves. We carry that garbage around for years, and for what?
I had to learn that the hard way. I resented my parents most of my adult life due to my childhood until I realized they gave me what THEY were given -- which was pretty much nothing! They were emotionally bankrupt, so they gave me nothing. Once I realized that, I had to forgive them.
Perhaps your Mom did the best she KNEW how to do -- yes, like my folks, they could have done better and maybe your Mom could have too, but we got what we got and that can't be changed. We still love them right? Well, forgiveness it the better path to take, and get rid of the resentment!
I made sure my kids were lavished with love and affection that I didn't get. And I'm sure you've changed the way YOU were brought up in bringing up your own kids. lol But you don't want them to detect any resentment you may have towards their grandmother, right?
So just humor her ---she DOES love you. Why not make a deal with her -- if she calls you 4 times a day, talk to her 2 times. The rest of the time, text her. LOL You're NOT going to have her forever and you don't want to feel guilty when she's gone. Believe me, I've lost both my parents now, and I DO feel some guilt about not spending more time with them, when I certainly could have, even tho sometimes it made me a nervous wreck. 
I wish you the very best. Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee 
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