PurpleFlyingMonkeys, I feel that way too...exactly. Phew. Thanks for your reply.

Open Eyes, thank you, your post was very insightful. Yes, it is my son who is 10. It was good to hear your thoughts, I always look forward to your replies to people's threads, because I always learn something! I am working with a T right now, I just started back up with therapy last month after a 10 year hiatus...things are getting heavy again. I just have so many built up issues that I have been running away from with so many things it is hard to know where to start...(I tend to want to fix things right away, and I know that is not how it works.)

I am definitely trying to learn how to not beat up on myself; I have always been hard on myself...(very "type A") I hope to put the past back where it belongs...

Thank you again, both, for your replies, it means a lot to me!