(((Wolfin))),

Thats ok, I was like that too, I wanted to rush through it and get back to my life.
Well, unfortunately I have had to learn to be patient and that I had to let the healing run its course through the steps/stages.

Ok, I do see where Purple is coming from in her opinion. I was like that myself, with my daughter I made many efforts to try not to dump my issues on her. However I got hit between the eyes not too long ago when she told me she went through a lot of lonliness and struggled because "no one explained to her what was going on". Wow, Wolfin, while I thought I was giving her freedom to be in her own life and not deal with "my" issues, she felt very differently.

And that also came up when I was interacting with a young teen that didn't like the fact that her parents didn't share with her the "whys" of their relationship breakup.
Her feelings were that they didn't "care" enough about her to include her and she also felt she could not trust them or even go to them with "her" issues.

So Wolfin, it is now my opinion to be open to the questions that your children present to you. I don't think you have to explain "everything" to them, but I think that if they are confused as to "why" you and your husband "didn't work out" they should feel that you are open to helping them understand it better. But I recommend trying to keep it simple so they can understand that it was not due to your lack of love for "them" and that your relationship failed because at the time "you were truely struggling" and there was no way for you and your husband to work through it and repair the relationship.

I think that the best way to handle it is to just give them permission to ask questions if they feel they have certain things they don't understand.

I wish I had known that my daughter felt troubled and alone while I was trying to work through the problems that I faced in my health as well as my relationship with her father. Yes, as I mentioned I felt like Purple that is was not "her" issue to solve, however she felt "left out" and "confused".

I am just sharing what I have learned. And my advice now is to be open with your children and just let them open up to "their" questions. And as I mentioned try to find a way to keep it simple so they can feel at ease.

I think that your son is experiencing friction with your husband and is probably wondering if this is what made "you" want to leave this man too.

Open Eyes