You have some posts here to consider. I think it all depends on an individual's life experiences that add up to how well they can share their personal struggles.

I find that one of the messages I got to learn really well was to "keep your own council". And ofcourse there is that one that says "be careful not to give others a stick to beat you with". And I have to say that I have learned some of this the hard way in life.

Finding a balance in sharing ourselves with others is a challenge for everyone. And for myself and the environment I grew up in? I was the youngest of three and controled by both my siblings and my efforts to complain were met with "don't you dare complain" sentiments.

And ofcourse I experienced the worst outcome the one time I did share something that I was very frightened and concerned about. I had finally realized that my husband was a binge alcoholic. And I learned that by a friend taking me to an alanon meeting and that meeting really frightened me to be honest.

I had been a leader of a brownie troop and I took that very serious as I wanted to be an active involved mother to my daughter. I made a fatal mistake sharing my fear about addressing what I had learned about my husband with my coleader who was a bit of a social climber. And to my horror all the mothers pulled their daughters from my troup and I was deemed damaged goods. Not only was I frightened about what I was facing with my husband, but I was disowned by everyone and my daughter was ostracized and she had no idea why and was way too young to understand it. I will never forget that last brownie meeting where all the mothers would not look at me, looked down and were suddenly cold to me. I honestly felt like I had some awful contageous disease. And my daughter was suddenly shunned by all her friends. It was such an awful experience for me. And this attitude about me and my daughter went on for many years.

I found it very hard to share my own personal struggles, and when things got hard for me and I did share, I was always beaten up emotionally and invalidated for a genuine struggle. So many of the things that challenged me were things I had to work through on my own somehow. And in my experience with this PTSD I have I am seeing the reality of how very far back that goes in my life. And it has lead to my being a very misunderstood person. Where in some ways I am very strong and will be there for others in very wise ways, but whenever I share my own struggles people somehow don't believe me.

It is a big deal for me to open up and share my own issues. It took me a while to push myself to do that here at PC. I have to admitt that I get very frustrated with this PTSD because I thought I managed to get through some very diffiucult things in my life path. But I guess not because I now relive them through this PTSD and I am seeing the way things "really affected me" in ways I could not have ever imagined. I DO have a genuine heartfelt concern for others that struggle and because I know the lonliness and despair I am very motivated to reach out and help and listen. I guess I try to give others what I so very much needed myself, and that includes lots of (((hugs))).

I agree with Perna here, it is something you have to learn how to do a little at a time.
And yes Perna, that is exactly what I do, "pretend I have my own little "one on one classroom".

Open Eyes