Oh geez, heavy on the kaka. Reminds me of my childhood. Oh geez, I am sooo sorry you are in this situation. Sounds like you could use a larger support group, more ears improve the odds of somebody being able to listen at a given moment when you need them.

I've been thinking about the connection between anger and not being heard. Tighter than squid on fish, if you ask me. A world where everybody was listened to and validated would be one dang different world.....

Can't get blood from a stone. Unfortunately, as hard as it it to learn to ask for help, it's even harder to find the right person to ask from, to find the person who has what you need, to give...... this part kills me. When I finally get up the courage to ask for help and the person brushes me off, WHEW, worse than bad. Salt in the wound. FURY. I feel for you kiddo.

Is there a crisis line in your hood? Several crisis lines? You could maybe find a friendly ear there for starters....? And of course, you can blow off here at PC.