What ive done with my daughter, and she's only 4, is explained to her that momma is sick. I dont tell her about my abuse, maybe when she is older (16 or so) and the situation calls for it i will but i dont explain to her my problems. Back in may when i was violently shaking and had an extreme anxiety attack for a week straigjt, my fiance and i just told her i was sick and not feeling well. She knows when i go to my t appointments and knew when i was on medicine, but i only told her that i was sick and didnt feel well. It still breaks my heart when i am low and cant play with her but i tell her "im sorry baby momma doesnt feel well right now" and most days she seems to understand. I think until the children are old enough to actually grasp the concept of mental illness, they dont have to and in many cases shouldnt know the details. They can lay the blame on a parent or themselves which could be harmful.heck, ive been mentally ill since i was 4 and 21 years later and i still dont understand all of it, and i live it.
Im not suggesting keeping them completely in the dark if you want to explain things but a 10 year old wont understand many things, like post pardom depression.
Ive already decided i may tell my daughter when shes much older about some of my abuse but not until shes grown. Children dont understand nor see it the way you do when you are an adult.