I know I've been posting a lot. Apparently I can't find the lip zipper

So you may have read that T had to cancel appointment last week. So I've decided to mention (here) something that's been rattling around the brain lately. I'm afraid of T. And I don't think it has anything to do with her, maybe it's her t-ness. I'm afraid of doctors so maybe that's why. Or maybe it's more than that. I'm apprehensive about a lot of people. Maybe even most people, including people I know well. Maybe it's part of that transference thing. When she cancelled the appointment, I was reminded how I felt abandoned by ex. So along that line, I was always nervous around the idea of romantic relationships. I put them off for a while. Even when I was young I remember, not planning my wonderfully fantastic wedding, but wondering what the point of relationships of that fashion was. Just seemed like everyone got hurt - from the movies/TV shows I watched. So maybe that's why. Maybe I'm afraid of getting hurt. Maybe as a part of transference, maybe because I read too much.

Oh and NO, I don't intend to tell her this.