Hi,

firstly, I think that sometimes people don't answer because we never know each other in details and what one person thinks might be the completely wrong way to think for another. So we don't answer because we are really worried.

I lived for the next step, I thought that this would make me happy. And I am sure that there's joy to come in my next steps, but you can't be happy if you're are not living in the moment you are physically living. I am still young, but I think that when we are at our oldest and looking back at our lives, it will feel as a split second. So live these split seconds, one second at a time. Do have hopes, dreams and goals. But don't forget to feel this moment, because 'soon' it will be gone.

As a wise old saying goes: Goals in life are great, but don't forget the road to the goal is life itself.

Also, I was deeply suicidal and I just wanted to say that it does get better. It can get better!! It might not always feel that way, but today I am stronger and hopeful and I value the lessons these feelings tought me and I thank god everyday that I did survive it, because it was worth it.

Best of luck! I hope you will soon find a way to start enjoying life again.