This is a big problem for me too. I think today's society makes it harder too. People are so programmed or have so much going on in their lives. I have tried to connect lately with individuals that I feel I have a rapport with. In the last month, I've not been able to get together with them because 1) one just split up with her husband and has thrown herself into her work, 2) one is constantly depressed and is self-isolating, 3) one can't plan outings because she has an ex who is ignoring child custody arrangements and takes the kids whenever he wants and 4) one has something on every single night.

No wonder social networking has taken off.

Anyway, I suppose there are a few additional challenges for us: We blame ourselves for being alone (low self-worth). We hate being alone (reminds us of our low self worth). We don't put in as much effort as we should in connecting with others because we think we are being purposely ignored/abandoned by others because we think there's something wrong with us. We just don't have the energy to nurture relationships because we anticipate so many problems before we even start and it wipes out all motivation.

What I am starting to do now though is to stop blaming myself. I'm starting to look at the external factors, reasons why I have trouble getting together with others besides 'nobody likes me'. It helps. I'm still lonely but at least I'm not feeling quite so low. And I have got together with people more often lately. It may not be as much as I like but it's more than it used to be. They may not be my best friends yet, but that takes time. Gotta start somewhere.