Quote:
Originally Posted by struggling2
thx bunny, have you talked to your T about this? Is he aware of it? If so, what does he say? I'm curious because I'm dreading having to say anything to T. I feel like I can tell her anything but when it comes to feelings/things about her and towards her I absolutely do not wanna go there. She always tells me she can handle whatever I throw at her feet but still... This is like way weird. And she always tells me she "looks forward to struggling days" and that she really likes me and I'm one of her favorites. but I consider myself an easy client. I show up everytime. I pay everytime. I never contact her between sessions and I don't freak out on her with emotions all the time. but if i go to her with all this weird stuff about her and start showing all these crazy emotions she's not gonna like me anymore.
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Struggling, i want you to know i'm standing right beside you on this issue. I feel exactly the same way you do. It's a form of grieving for what we never got and will never have. I have maternal feelings for my therapist too and she's away on vacation for weeks. And while i don't want her to be my mommy, i want my own mother to have been more like her. This distance i have with my therapist right now seems to scream at me "you are just a patient, she isn't even thinking about you, she's glad to be away from you, it's you she needed the break from etc" This break is a loud reminder that i am not part of her life, even tho she's a big part of mine. And that hurts.