This doesn't necessarily apply only to BPD, but what you are describing actually fits with attachment theory so amazingly well that you could have been the example they based one of the attachment styles on. You identified with the style that as an adult is sometimes called "dismissive." As a child you would have probably been "avoidantly attached." Here. I'll copy the descriptions that I have in my notes for you:

Avoidantly Attached: (this starts with infancy and describes through adulthood)

Mother is often emotionally unavailable or rejecting. Dislikes "neediness," may applaud independence. Independence may be encouraged too early, such as a mother who props the bottle for a young infant and states that the baby enjoys being able to feed herself.

By the end of the first year, baby seeks little physical contact with mother, randomly angry with her, unresponsive to being held, but often upset when put down.

In the "strange situation" test (mother leaves the room, leaving the baby with a stranger, then comes back in a minute and the baby's reactions are observed): Avoids mother when distressed, seems blase. The child may seem secure and independent.

Preschool: Often angry, aggressive, defiant. May be isolated, disliked. Hangs around teachers. Withdraws when in pain.

Teachers become controlling and angry.

Age 6 with parents: Abrupt, neutral, unenthusiastic exchanges. Absence of warm physical contact.

Middle childhood: No close friends *or* friendships marked by exclusivity, jealousy. Often isolated from the group.

Dismissive Adult: Dismissing of importance of love and connection. Often idealizes parent, but actual memories don't corroborate.

I'll copy the others too for comparison.

Ambivalently Attached (this one is me):

Mother is unpredictable or chaotic. Often attentive but out of synch with baby. Most tuned in to baby's fear. (Anxious mom - projects her problems onto baby)

Baby cries a lot, is clingy and demanding, often angry, upset by small separations, chronically anxious in relation to mother, limited in exploration.

Strange Situation: Difficult to soothe after separation - angry and seeking comfort simultaneously.

Preschool: Fretful and easily overwhelmed by anxiety. Immature, overly dependent on teacher. May be victimized by bullies.

Teachers indulge, excuse, and infantilize.

Age 6 with parents: Mixes intimacy seeking with hostility. Affectedly cute or ingratiating. May be worried about mother when apart.

Middle childhood: Trouble functioning in peer groups. Difficulty sustaining friendships when in larger groups.

Preoccupied Adult: Still embroiled with anger and hurt at parents. Unable to see own responsibility in relationships. Dreads abandonment.

Finally, here is the description for those with parents who know how to create a secure environment, or secure base, for their children:

Securely attached:

Mother (or primary caregiver) is warm, sensitively attuned, consistent. Quickly responds to baby's cries.

Baby readily explores, using mother as a secure base. Cries least of the three groups, most compliant with mother, and most easily put down after being held.

Strange Situation: Actively seeks mother when distressed, maintains contact on reunion, readily comforted.

Preschool: Easily makes friends. Popular. Flexible and resilient under stress. Spends more time with peers. Good self-esteem.

Teachers treat in warm, matter-of-fact, age-appropriate ways.

Age 6 with parents: Warm and enthusiastic. Able to be open and to engage in meaningful exchanges. Comfortable with physical contact.

Middle childhood: Forms close friendships, and is able to sustain them in larger groups.

Secure Adult: Easy access to wide range of feelings and memories, positive and negative. Balanced view of parents. If insecure in childhood, has worked through hurt and anger.