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I explained today on the way to work (after asking if he was cheating on me and after drilling him about his new co worker) that it's not that I don't trust him, I just have problems with myself. He joked and said "Well you need to fix that" and I told him I have been working on it and pointed out that I haven't been getting angry with him over the jealousy lately and he agreed. I'm not taking big steps, just baby steps but it's better than standing still.
I will bring it up with t but as we speak I've got so many ideas of what he could be doing and about this new co worker of his, eck, I'm just self destructive, looking to be miserable or something. And nearly every man from my past has abused me to a degree, I have a hard time with trust. I just don't want to mess this up...
Uuuuughhhh!!!! I stupidly decided to go onto facebook and look on his page. Some girls writing him things about autographing their boobs and such, 3 years ago, I doubt it was while we were dating but it's adding fuel to my fire. I know I need to stop, I'm getting so upset right now. But only 2 years ago looks like he was in contact with someone he knows I don't like, he had a sexual relation with her once (before we met), and hid it from me. I didn't know until his friend told me, would have been fine had he not had her over in his bedroom one night while we were dating and still didn't tell me anything other than she was a lesbian, not that he and he had something before she went to the other side. This was likely around that time but it was nearly 3 years ago we had an argument... I know I'm being rediculous as she and he were talking around that time on his myspace but his phone is turned off (it died) but has been charging an hour already, he knows I was going to call him...
I trust him...
I trust him...
He's faithful...
He's a good man...
I just can't get over these thoughts... Oh my gosh I'm driving myself crazy...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
Last edited by PurpleFlyingMonkeys; Jul 09, 2012 at 07:19 PM.
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