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Jul 09, 2012, 06:55 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonmentIssues
So he is scared of being a father, something I have always asked about, but he continues saying it wasn't about the baby and that he still wants to be in her life.
If this is really what this is, why pack up all of our wedding photos and all of my things, send me back to my parents house, and not contact me?
He sounds like his mind is made up and he wants this divorce.
I even finally talked to him today and I told him I was going to file and I was telling him that the reason I was letting him know was that so he won't be suprised. He told me he "wasnt surprised".
He is also adding like 30-40 new women on his facebook, almost all of them living around him, working around him, or graduating from the high school he lives near.
He told me that night he loved me like he loves his brother. That he just isn't "feeling it" anymore.
Open Eyes, I would love to believe this is a case of cold feet, but the longer this drags on, the longer I believe he really doesnt want me.
If this is him being scared/cold feet, this is one of the most rediculous and extreme cases I have ever seen.
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Ok, I understand what you are saying here. I didn't want to jump on the wagon of calling him out as a bad person right away. After all you were a couple and he did agree to having a child.
The other thing that came to my mind was my own pregnancy, which I have not really shared. For the first few months my husband was there for me, but as I got near my ninth month he wasn't. One night he was out all night and never came home and I was worried sick but also very angry too. He came home the next morning, and by that time I was parked across the street where he could not see me. Part of me wanted to know he was ok, because I did love him. And as soon as I saw he was ok, I waited until he got in the house and I just left.
I had some problems with this before and he told me it would not happen again. I was so upset because I was so far along, how could he?
Well, it turned out down the road that my husband was a binge alcoholic. But when I was getting help I was told what I told you about men getting very cold feet near the birth of a child, especially their first born. I was told that some men "panic" for some reason. And sometimes after a child is born they slowly adjust, some take longer than others. It depends on the man.
So I didn't want to put any more anger in your mind right now. I was really thinking of helping you set "his issues" aside and focus on the more important thing, "this child".
If you can ((AI))) please do your best to not let yourself stress about the husband right now. Focus on lowering your anxiety, stress, and worry and how that is what is important for this new life inside you.
As you say, you are due in just a few weeks. Doing your best to focus on remaining as calm as you can right now is better for the child and it is only "just a few weeks" away.
While two people agreed to have a child, one was you, and this is a choice we make when we decide to have a child "be responsible to that child". And that is even now.
Hold off your anger until after this child is born. Then you can focus on the rest of your life and what comes next. It is just a few weeks and your and your baby's health "has" to come first.
If you can surround yourself with caring supportive people right now?
That is what you should do. I understand this is quite unexpected to you, and yes, I agree that it was wrong of this young man to choose this time to do this to "his" family. But he is "not" thinking about that right now, he is only thinking about "himself". That is something "he" will have to deal with over and over all of his life and maybe beyond.
Your priority is be a good mother first and foremost.
(((I am sorry this challenge is put in your path at this delicate time for you and your child))))
(((Please be strong and take care of YOU and your child)))
Open Eyes
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