((((Purple)))) in order for us to truly heal and move forward we must examine the past and deal with it. Deal with all the feelings, emotions that perhaps we didn't get to and or weren't acknowledged / validated when we most needed it.

If we do not truly delve, then once again, we are just putting another band aid on things and trying to move forward. Which many of us have learned, does not work. It is a minor salve for an extremely deep injury. To me, it is like putting an ice pack on a broken bone

I am sure your fiance means well, but perhaps he does not fully understand the complexities of what you are experiencing and the details of trauma work.

I would venture to guess too that being the wonderful man that he is, he assumes you know that you are safe now and he loves you and will protect you. Unfortunately, for as lovely as that is, he cannot protect you from the memories and hurt that reside within you right now.

Have you asked him to go to T with you so he can get a better u.derstanding of what you are going through. And this isnt something that can be fixed with an engagement ring or a marriage certificate?

I truly believe he has your best interests at heart but it is virtually impossible for even the best of us to understand what is happening and how best to work through it. Heck, we are the ones truly dealing with it and we barely understand it And "just get over it" is not a viable solution.

Hugs to you,
Rose