Rose, thanks for your response. This all came out because I just saw my pdoc today and she changed my meds again, since prozac+wellbutrin seemed to not be doing anything for me, she decided to add something else. (Depakote) So now I'm taking 3 pills a day, and now I have to get blood work done because of the Depakote, AND its expensive, and what if it doesn't change anything? What if I stay the same sad, cynical, lonely person?

My therapist - I have decided I just don't like her...style? And I think I'm going to look for a new one, but it causes so much anxiety and guilt in me to think about telling her that I'm going to see a new therapist. I HAVE talked with her about all the things I've said here, and much much more, and basically all she ever has to say is "...and this all stems from the love you didn't get as a child." Yeah thanks, tell me something I don't know.

Again, thank you for your comments. It means a lot just to be acknowledged.