extremely good question. and i wasnt gonna talk about it but i think its the latter. im also having some flashbacks of me standing on the railing of the overpass. and i slip onto the highway and i react in real life. i posted another thread similar to this but its not exactly like that last sentence.
...
no one has to tell me.
ive caused more problems than i did away with. but that was the point of jumping off that bridge in the first place.
...
and as if i wasnt paranoid about police to begin with im even more so now. i see them in my minds eye with their baton and gun telling me to not look at my sandwich or theyll shoot. its been like this type of thing for hours now...
i cant pee or look out my window or they shoot me..
maybe why im up at 3am. my thoughts are so loud. im feeling bugs on my skin. i have a long history of tactile hallucinations.

the doc at the hospital said i was very very good at concealing my symptoms to get out of the hospital. he didnt say it mean either in fact he was very nice even when he said that.