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Originally Posted by costello
...on his way to agoraphobia - he was so scared to have any contact with anyone.
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Sounds familiar
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Originally Posted by costello
Anyway I was pretty worried because last time he dropped to 5 he started having odd thoughts and became very angry and aggressive toward me. We talked about it, and he seems to have made a commitment not to be aggressive.
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That is fantastic! I'm sure it's not easy for him, but that is an admirable step!
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Originally Posted by costello
I think it also helps that I'm not "hovering" as much. I'm not asking him how he's doing all the time - or what he's thinking about. He knew that was code for "are you crazy?" and it irritated him.
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My wife has struggled with this one. Sometimes it is very difficult to verbalise what is going on in our minds. How do you begin to describe something that is so alien to most people without sounding like you are describing a bizarre sci-fi scene and still not conveying the pain and confusion?
Sometimes it takes me a while to find a way of expressing it, but other times (more common), I just try to avoid being too detailed. "Struggling with feelings" or something relatively meaningless may be better than using a worn out cliche like "the 'voices' are being mean again".
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Originally Posted by costello
I'm also trying to not do other things that irritate him - like singing or being too happy around the house.
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This one really tickled me - one of my daughters gets very frustrated by her younger sister (who is a happy little soul who lives in her own world, but makes loads of random repetitive sounds and ridiculous songs). But I understand how distressing that joyful exuberance can be when in the grips of a horrible episode, and all sounds and movement feel like a low speed dentist's drill boring into your skull. You just want to cut out as much input as possible to give your electrocuted senses a rest.
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Originally Posted by costello
So this attempt is more successful than the last one. I don't know if it's because he's trying harder or I'm trying harder or having the step down of 6.25 helped (last time he dropped right from 7.5 to 5) or he's just in a different place mentally, but this time it seems to be working as I'd hoped. He's more relaxed. He's leaving the house. He's been out playing basketball, doing his own grocery shopping, and buying some new clothes. He was out until about midnight Saturday. I'm worried he was at a bar, but he wasn't drunk when he came home, so ... [not hovering, not hovering].
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Sounds positive. Holding thumbs and big toes for you.
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Life is like a storm with millions of eyes. So deceptive.