Thanks for sharing your story with us, and welcome to PC. I am so sorry to hear about your abuse and I glad that you are away from him now. I suspect that you will be able to find healing, though it may take awhile. Right now, I would focus on finding people who are on your side and can help protect you. For sure, look into the domestic abuse shelters for resources. Also, now that I am in Thearpy now.. I would highly suggest it. It will be a place you can go and tell of your hurts, vent, cry, be angry, and the T will be able to help you through it all. Give you tools, etc.. I really hope that you are your kids are able to stay safe and move on from your situation.