I actually had a good day yesterday. I saw a friend, talked to people I didn't know, didn't freak out in a group; all very big steps for me. But for some reason it doesn't seem to matter. I still feel bad about seeing people, I still just want to be alone. It doesn't make sense! Everyone was nice to me, and I think i talked more than I usually do, but it still doesn't matter because of this voice in the back of my head that keeps saying 'They were lying, They were pretending' and instead of ignore it I listen to it because what if it's right?? I should be happy right now because everything went swimmingly yesterday, no panic attacks, I didn't leave in the middle of the day, I wasn't ignored, I actaully felt some level of acceptance, but noooo. I apparently don't have the capacity for happiness...