Today has been pretty strange and mostly useless. I have something going on inside - maybe a small crisis? - but I'm not privy to what it is yet. I have thought about any potential triggers that might have occurred, but can't think of anything. Pretty normal, average day. And no strong feelings at any one point in time (like would usually happen with a trigger).

Since lunchtime or thereabouts, I have been spinning in circles with not knowing what to do next and not finishing anything I start. Until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn't even tell what I want/need to do tonight. My husband got home and was able to see that I was "off" and offered to support me in whatever way I need. That in itself helped me, especially cause T is recovering from surgery for the next week and unavailable.

At that point, I got quiet enough to tell that there are 5 different places I want to go tonight, none of them compatible with the other: grocery store, hang out in bookstore, hide in closet, get drunk, and go to outdoor bar for guitar music. I do know that each of these (except grocery shopping which is what I need to do) is a not-so-good coping mechanism. So, there is something going on inside that is causing different alters to fall back on their preferred coping mechanism.

My questions are these: what can I do next time when I start spinning in circles to stop the confusion? And what do I do when there are competing desires as to how to spend time tonight? Right now, I am feeling stuck and unable to choose anything. Being quiet and trying to listen to the crisis feels unsafe since T in unavailable.

Elizabeth